20 November 2009

dinner party download: ice breakers 17 - 18

A man and a woman are playing golf.  They are playing on this old, rustic course and they come to this old barn on the side of this course. The guy hits the ball over there, and he goes over:

Guy: You know, I'm going to take a drop and just forget about the barn, just take the stroke penalty.

Wife: Wait a minute, honey. What if you just open up the doors and hit right through?  You don't have to take the penalty. 

So he hits the ball, and it ricochets off something and ricochets off something else, hits his wife in the head, kills her dead.

One year later, the guy is playing the same course.  Comes to the same hole.  He is playing with a buddy of his.  He pushes the ball into almost the same place.  And he tells his buddy

Guy: Hey man, I'm just going to pick it up and take the stroke penalty.  

Buddy: Hey man, no, you know what you should do?  Open up the doors and hit it right through - then you won't have to take the penalty. 

Guy: Are you kidding man?  I did that last year.  I made a 5 on this hole.

Larry Wilmore, dinner party download, ep 17.

Mickey Mouse and Minni Mouse were in divorce court with Judge Judy.  

Judge Judy: You say here that your wife is crazy.

Mickey: No I didn't, I said she's fucking goofy. 

Benjy Ferree, dinner party download ep 18

No comments:

Post a Comment

firstly, thanks in advance for your comment - I don't get very many, so I'm sure to follow up if you leave me a way - secondly, come again.