point-n-click

A disheveled looking man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender:  I'm sorry sir, but ah, I don't think you can afford it. Disheveled Man:  Well, if I show you something you've never seen before, will you give me a drink? Bartender:  Sure . So the man pulls out a box - in it is a little hamster.  The hamster runs down the end of the bar, gets up on the piano and starts doing Gershwin tunes. Bartender: Wow, that's amazing. I have never seen anything like that. Disheveled Man: If I show you another thing, will you give me another drink? Bartender: Of course! So he pulls out a frog out of the box, and the frog starts singing along. Another guy sees this down at the end of the bar, and he runs up to the disheveled homeless-looking man and says: I'll give you $300 for that frog. Disheveled Man:  Sure, it's a deal. He hands him the frog and the guy walks out. Bartender (incredulously): You just sold a million dollar act for thr...

The disciple approaches the master - Disciple: Master, what is fate? Master: Disciple, it is that which causes a man to travel a great distance with a heavy load upon his back.  And which causes a road to spring up under his feet. And which causes Inns and Public Houses to spring up alongside that road to stave off hunger and weariness and thirst. Disciple: Master, that is fate. Master: Fate? I thought you said freight.  MC Frontalot, dinner party download, episode 6 .

So a dog walks into a post office. Dog: I want to send a telegram. Postman: Okay, what would you like to say? Dog: I would like to say,       "Woof, woof.         Woof woof woof.         Woof woof, woof woof." Postman: For the same price, you could put another woof in there. Dog (incredulously): Uh, but that wouldn't make any sense! - Sarah Lyall, dinner party download, episode 5 .

There's this guy, he's driving down the road, and he's got 17 penguins in the back of his car.  This cop sees him, & the cop stops him. Cop: I don't know what's going on here, but you've got to take these penguins to the zoo. Guy: Um, okay. The next day, the same guy is driving, he's got the same seventeen penguins in the back of his car. The same cop is in the speed trap and stops him again. Cop: Look man, I stopped you yesterday, I told you get these penguins to the zoo. Guy: I took them to the zoo - today we're going to the beach! - Ezra Feinberg, dinner party download, episode 4 .

David: How can you tell the drummer in the band ... David: The one who had to pay a cover charge to go to his own gig.  [so apparently all drummer jokes stink] - David Carr, dinner party download, episode 3 .

Gregg: What do you call cheese thats not yours? ( silence ) Gregg: Nacho cheese! -  Gregg Gillis (a.k.a Girl Talk), dinner party download, episode 2 .

Chandra: What do you call a deer with no eyes? Leigh: I don't know what? Chandra: No eye-deer. - The Watson Twins, dinner party download, episode 1 .