meatloaf, yo

ingredients

bowl this
5 pounds ground round
1 pound ground pork
6 cups breadcrumbs

4 1/2 tablespoons dried oregano

2 Tablespoons fennel, ground

bowl this
2 carrots, chopped
3 medium onion, chopped
15 garlic cloves, minced

mix this
9 large eggs, beaten to blend
1.5 cup dry red wine
1/8 cup Dijon mustard
1/4 cup stone ground dijon mustard
1/4 cup honey mustard
3/4 cup barbecue sauce

a few sprigs of thyme
8 bay leaves

2.5 pounds bacon, cooked

no salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper after 20m in oven

preparation

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Place the bacon in a medium sauté pan over medium-low heat. Sauté the bacon for about 5 minutes, or until it has begun to crisp and most of the fat has rendered out.

Combine first 8 ingredients in two bowls. Gently mix in the sauce, eggs, and wine.  Using your hands, gently work all of the ingredients into the meat until well combined. 

Place one-half of the croutons into a shallow baking dish at least 14 inches long. Place meat mixture on large rimmed baking sheet and shape into 16x4-inch loaf. Pierce the meatloaf with the bay leaves and thyme sprig. Bake meat loaf until cooked through and thermometer inserted into center registers between 160°F and 170°F, about 1 hour 15 minutes.

adapted from (3x size of recipe)
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Beef-and-Sausage-Meat-Loaf-with-Mozzarella-230634
+ http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Not-So-Basic-Meatloaf-355903 

A duck walks into a bar

A duck walks into a bar and he says to the bartender, “Hey Bartender, you got any grapes?”

And the Bartender says, “No I don’t have any grapes, this is a bar!” 

And the duck says “Okay.”  So he leaves the bar, he walks around the block, he comes back and he says, “Bartender, you got any grapes?”

The Bartender says, “No. I don’t have any grapes.”

And the duck says “Okay.”  He leaves the bar, walks around the block again, “Hey Bartender, you got any grapes?”

The Bartender says, “Look, if you ask me that again, I’m going to nail you to the wall!”

The duck says “Okay,” leaves the bar, comes back, “Hey Bartender, you got any nails?”

The Bartender says, “No!”

The duck says “Ah… You got any grapes?”

-- jennifer egan, dinner party ice breaker 115